When we talk about grief, it’s most often in the context of a loved one – a family member or friend – who has died. We relate to, acknowledge, and validate this type of grief because, at one point or another, we’ve been there or know we will be. What happens when grief does not fit this mold – when we or others are grieving the loss of a pet, friendship, job, home, or the dream of a future family?
The profound loss of a pet
Our family lost four beloved senior pets—two cats and two Boxers—within a span of two years. Each loss was incredibly painful, especially that of our male Boxer, Sonny. We brought Sonny home when he was eight weeks old; he was a 90-pound lap dog who was loving, loyal, silly, demanding, and playful. Above all, Sonny was our friend.
That’s the thing about pets—whether a bird, snake, spider, hamster, fish, cat, dog, or another companion, they create daily routines in your life, bring joy, and become your steadfast companions. Losing a pet can leave an emptiness in your day-to-day life that others may not fully understand.
Emotional healing after losing a pet can begin when you:
- Seek support from a therapist if your grief feels overwhelming.
- Make time and space for your grief.
- Share your loss with others who will validate it.
- Allow both happy and sad memories of your pet to surface.
- Find meaningful ways to memorialize your pet.
When friendships fade
Friendships fade for many reasons: one friend relocates, life priorities shift, unresolved conflict festers, or the relationship starts to feel one-sided. Losing a friend can cause deep grief, with triggers like passing by a favorite restaurant, seeing social media posts about your former friend, or simply missing the intimacy that close friendships provide.
Our society does not place the same value on friendships as romantic relationships, which can result in disenfranchised grief—feeling like your loss is not “valid” or worthy of acknowledgment.
If you’ve lost a friend, try:
- Prioritizing open communication in future friendships
- Practicing self-compassion by recognizing that your pain is real.
- Reflecting on what was out of your control.
- Reaching out to the close friends you do have and leaning into those relationships.
- Embracing vulnerability by being open to new friendships through activities you enjoy.
Job loss: more than a paycheck
It is said that, particularly in America, we live to work rather than work to live. Our careers are a core part of our identities, a means for financial security, a common denominator among social peers, and often give us a deep sense of purpose. So what happens to our self-worth when, either by choice or due to downsizing and layoffs, we suddenly don’t have that job title, professional community, and income that has anchored and defined us?
Grief happens, and it looks different for everyone. To navigate it:
- Give yourself time to process your emotions.
- Prioritize self-care.
- Establish new daily routines to maintain structure.
- Brainstorm potential career opportunities when you feel ready—without judgment.
- Seek support from trusted family, friends, or a therapist.
Losing your home
Hurricanes Helene and Debby brought historic flooding, tornadoes, and widespread devastation to North Carolina in 2024, and the 2025 Palisades and Eaton fires in California leveled entire communities. Losing a home goes far beyond the physical structure, with a sense of belonging and safety, routines, traditions, interactions with neighbors, and simple pleasures like looking forward to flowers blooming in your garden taken from you in an instant. Grieving the loss of a home is compounded by the exhaustion of trying to secure food, shelter, prescriptions, clothing, and pet care, replacing important documents such as birth certificates and vehicle titles, employment complications, and mounting expenses for repairs.
To support yourself through this loss:
- Give yourself permission to grieve.
- Ask for and accept help from family, friends, and community organizations.
- Ensure you’re getting adequate sleep and nutrition.
- Seek support from mental health professionals.
Grieving the dream of a family
Many of us grow up with the dream of having children of our own. When that dream cannot come true, whether it be from infertility, pregnancy loss, cost-prohibitive fertility treatments and procedures, divorce, or remaining single, there can be intense grief from this “invisible” loss. If the desired identity of being a parent is unattainable, this can result in anger, depression, strained relationships, feeling excluded, and crushing sadness.
If you’re grieving the loss of this dream:
- Consider individual, couples, or group therapy with a specialist.
- Share your story with empathetic family and friends.
- Explore alternative paths to parenthood, such as adoption or surrogacy, if they align with your values and circumstances.
Resources
Pet Loss: American Veterinary Medical Association | Humane Society
Friendship & Connection: Platonic by Dr. Marisa G. Franco: Book Info
Job Loss & Career Transition: O*NET OnLine | U.S. Department of Labor
Disaster Relief: FEMA
Fertility & Pregnancy Loss Support: Postpartum Support International
Allison Hamilton, MS, NCC, LPC-Associate supervised by Christen Sistrunk, LPC-S, is a therapist with The Houston Center for Valued Living. Allison is passionate about supporting clients grieving a loss, experiencing reproductive mental health challenges, having sleep difficulties, and navigating parenting stress.