The holiday season is quickly approaching, and, for many, it can feel like a whirlwind. Balancing responsibilities from your work, family, and social life can be exhausting and cause anxiety – the holiday fatigue is real. Practicing self-care, as cliche as it may sound, can be a lifeline during the busiest times of your life- and no, I’m not talking about taking bubble baths and eating tons of chocolate (although those things can be nice too!) Think of it as actively combating stress and burnout. Your acts of self-care are proactively helping you be the best version of yourself. If you’re struggling to figure out how best to get started, here are ten ways to engage in self-care:
Give yourself permission to “be” and not “do”
When your mind is in “doing mode”, its main job is to get things done. This usually results in thoughts that start with I should, I must, I need to – all of which can be useful at times. However, it can be easy to get wrapped up into living in “doing mode” 24/7 – especially during a busy season. By allowing your mind to exist in “being mode” – accepting what is happening in the present moment without any pressure to change it – you can connect more deeply with the here and now and feel the freedom and freshness of living in the present.
Recognize (and enforce) your boundaries
During times of uncertainty and craziness, boundaries can add a much needed sense of structure to your life. Boundaries can be applied to numerous aspects of your life, including your relationships, time, and money – and they also take away some of the stress of decision making. By creating boundaries and sticking to them, you are putting yourself first and making decisions that are in your best interests.
Know when to say “No”
The holiday season is filled with events, parties, and get-togethers, and it’s easy to overcommit. Saying “No” is a skill that most people struggle with, but it can be instrumental in putting yourself first. The truth is, most rational people will respond to the occasional “no”. It might be helpful to ask yourself questions like: Do I have the energy/time/finances for this? Does this add value to my life? Do I actually want to do this?
Make yourself a priority
We’ve all heard the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” The emphasis on giving to others is rampant throughout the holiday season, and it may become difficult not to constantly put others first. However, constantly prioritizing what others need over yourself and your own desires can leave you feeling exhausted and depleted. Take time to recharge and do things that you enjoy. Find ways to meet your needs, whatever that looks like to you. Being attuned to who you are and what you want can help you be the best version of yourself for those around you – I would argue that this is when you are the least selfish.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness, the practice of fully immersing yourself in the present, can be integral for your self-care. Many people don’t have time to meditate or focus on the present for an hour each morning – that is ok. There are small ways to practice mindfulness throughout your busy schedule. When you are in the company of friends and family, put your phone down and focus on the present memories you are creating and connections you are deepening. If you get a moment to be outside, notice how the sun feels on your skin and how the birds sound chirping overhead. If you are feeling particularly stressed, notice you are feeling overwhelmed, take a breath to bring yourself back to the present, allow your mind to experience the thoughts and emotions of stress, and then decide your course of action. Mindfulness can make all the difference in your self-care.
Move your body
In a time where stress permeates through every area of our lives, physical activity can be one of the best tools to stay mentally and emotionally balanced. Don’t worry – I’m not suggesting you buy a Peloton or run 5 miles a day. Research has shown that a little exercise goes a long way. In fact, around 15-30 minutes of exercise most days of the week can significantly benefit your brain, body, and mind. Taking a walk around the block or turning on a quick Youtube workout video can do wonders for your physical and mental health.
Be Vulnerable with yourself and others
Brene Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” We always want to put our “best face” on for others – it’s understandable. Being vulnerable with other people brings fears of looking weak or foolish, and being vulnerable with ourselves can be uncomfortable and unsettling. However, the act of vulnerability allows us to feel empathy, forgive and understand each other, and see ourselves as worthy of belonging. It can help us feel closer to others and form more meaningful connections. Being vulnerable can feel risky, but the payoff can be immense.
Get Outside
As simple as this one sounds, if you work a 9-5 desk job and have responsibilities at home, you may only get a couple of minutes to step outside during your day. There is bountiful research that points to almost any outdoor activity decreasing stress and increasing overall life satisfaction. Interestingly enough, researchers have found that being in or looking at a “green space” (think parks, grass, forests) is especially beneficial for mental health and wellbeing. Spending 10-20 minutes outside each day may be the energy booster you’re looking for.
Forgive yourself
Repeat after me – I am an imperfect person. Forgiving ourselves may seem like the opposite of self-care because of how difficult it can be. When we do something immorally or accidentally, it is in our nature to focus solely on whether others forgive us. However, learning to forgive ourselves can be the best way to move forward and grow. Realize that a bad action does not equate to you being a bad person. Most importantly, view your self-forgiveness journey as a path to changing your actions. How will you heal, move forward, and change future behaviors? Finding peace and growth in forgiving yourself can be the ultimate form of self-care.
Ask for help when you need it
We are not designed to handle all of life’s responsibilities and stressors alone. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of being human. The truth is, most people are eager to help others, especially the people you know and hold close. If you are seeking unbiased, professional guidance, therapy may be a good option for you. Contact Houston Center for Valued Living at 713-331-5538.
Lisa Forger, LPC-Associate (under the supervision of Christen Sistrunk, MA LPC-S) works with children, adolescents, and adults who seek to elevate their lives and reach their highest potential. She utilizes behavioral parent training and cognitive behavioral therapy to address a variety of psychosocial concerns. To contact Lisa, e-mail: lisa@hcfvl.com or call 713-331-5538.