This past week – the Houston Snowpocolypse / Snowmageddon – knocked a lot of us off our feet, for a variety of reasons. Many of us spent days without power and water. Cell towers were down, disrupting our ability to make phone calls, receive text messages, and get information about what was happening in the world.
If you had small children with you, my heart really went out to you this week. You can’t stay in the warmth of your bed with the covers over your head all day when you have small kids. Nope – small kids need entertainment, movement, play, snacks, meals, and they crave routine. As a parent you were probably stressed out and worried. Your fuse might have been shorter. You’re struggling with figuring out what’s happening with work while also trying to comfort your cold child in the dark. Kudos to you for making it to Monday.
My brain felt messed up
Even when I finally got cellular data back or my phone charged, I found it very difficult to concentrate and accomplish tasks. I also couldn’t stop my brain from worrying. I thought about every single one of my clients. I thought about those of you who live alone, those of you who were unable to work and stressed about your jobs, those of you with anxiety and trauma, those of you who had pets to keep warm, those of you who had small children and infants, those of you who have elderly parents, those of you with relationship stresses, and those of you who have already been cooped up and isolated too much due to the pandemic.
Houston: Our mental health has a problem
Snowmageddon disrupted your routines. Many of your regular behaviors that help your mental health probably unraveled. Do you identify with any of these?
Your eating habits suffered.
Whether you had no access to fresh fruits and veggies, had no electricity to cook, or just couldn’t organize your brain well enough to eat anything but PB&J sandwiches, your eating was sub-par. Stress eating was a real thing this week. If you found yourself eating all of the Valentines Candy – rest assured you were not alone.
Exercise routines fell by the wayside.
Exercise? What exercise? It was COLD outside. And dark inside. Your Peloton didn’t work. Your gym was closed. It was too icy to go for a run. If you felt like a sloth, welcome to the club.
Your hygiene routine suffered.
No hot showers for 5 days. You couldn’t wash your clothes. You didn’t feel like yourself.
You didn’t drink enough water.
If you were worried about running out of drinking water, you might have been trying to conserve. Or if you were moving from place to place, focused on finding electricity, you might have been distracted. You were likely dehydrated which we know can increase headaches and makes you feel tired and fatigued.
Your sleeping habits changed.
You slept less because you were cold, scared, or had kids waking you up all night in the dark. Alternatively, you slept more because you were cold and the only place you could get warm was under the bed, plus, there was nothing to do anyway.
You were isolated.
You didn’t see the people you normally see. Your cancelled plans with others. You lost out on time spent with others which can increase anxiety and depression.
You increased your alcohol consumption.
If you like to consume alcohol, maybe you found yourself drinking more than usual to pass the time or ease your anxiety/stress. Alcohol helps in the moment but it actually leads to sleep difficulties and increased anxiety and depression as it leaves your system.
Nothing felt normal
I talked to many people who felt so turned around that they were unable to work – even when they had the physical means to do so (electricity, internet, etc). It’s hard to work when you’re wondering – will I have enough water to flush my toilets? (Seriously, UGH!!) Will I be able to find a gas station with gas available? My kitchen ceiling is caving in from a busted pipe – how can I get this fixed?
It’s only just today that I’m finally feeling like I can look at my schedule for the week. It’s only today that I feel like I’m emerging out of whatever the heck the last 7 days was. Even today, when the heater turns off because the house has reached temperature, I have an immediate “oh crap” response – a feeling of dread wash over me as my body thinks that sound means the power went off. I look around and remind myself that the lights are still on. Last night – our lights flickered twice, and suddenly three neighbors texted me asking me if my lights had flickered too. Yeah, we’re all still on edge. This may be “over” for most of us, but we’re not really over it.
This is Fine. Everything is Fine.
For some, what happened was an uncomfortable inconvenience. For others, it was truly traumatic and some people suffered profound losses. The world is quick to move on and jump back into “everything is fine” mode. We do this a lot – quickly passing over processing the pain and difficulty of what we all just went through. This speaks to the nature of our society – quick to rush through and be back to normal – a society of emotional avoidance.
So, what can you do now, for your mental health to help recover from this past week?
Talk About It
Talk about what the experience was like for you. Share with your friends. Were you angry? Scared? Bored? Allow yourself time to tell your story and create meaning around the event. Isolating and holding your thoughts in might feel safe – but it isn’t helpful.
Get Back into a Routine (as soon as possible)
This means going back to your regular bedtime, wake time, and eating times. Routines make us feel safe because they provide the ability to predict what is going to happen next. Which is the opposite of trauma (when you feel like anything could happen and there is no rhyme or reason). Even if you are still feeling unsettled, commit to maintaining a routine for sleep, eating, work, exercise, and socializing. Go through the motions. Your body needs this. (Please note, this isn’t the same as “pushing yourself” and overcommitting and overextending yourself. I’m talking about a basic routine to ground you).
Put the Technology Down
Get off your phones. Stop. Reading. The. News. (Can you hear me? I’m clapping my hands loudly in your face). Stop. Reading. Insta-Stories. Put your phone in a drawer. Get out a coloring book, turn on some music, and color for 30 minutes.
Get into your body
Whether this be through exercise or meditation. Both of these activities break us out of the constant verbal assault of worry and rumination. I can almost assure you, your mind is not always as useful as it thinks it is. Get a break from it!
Get outside
Houston is blessing us with beautiful weather again. Now is the time to get outside. Yes all the plants are brown, but the sky’s still blue. While you’re out there – what can you notice? What plants are still alive? What sounds of birds can you hear? What does the sunshine feel like on your skin? What about the breeze? Get outside in wide open spaces after you’ve been cooped up all week.
No Such Thing as a Magical Solution
I know that none of these are “magical” tips to turn your life or mental health around. I say this because there are no magical tips that erase pain and suffering. It is about moving through it, with it, and toward building a life worth living (according to you). And, a lot of that is just about engaging in basic tasks that contribute to our physical and emotional health. When we do these things, we give ourselves the best chance to feel inspired, even a little. When we keep up with the little stuff – it’s like putting gas in your tank, keeping your tires inflated, and cleaning your windshield. Putting it all together- we have the chance to head toward that chosen direction.
I truly am, with all my heart, wishing each of you and those that you love, recovery from these last week’s events. You’re not always in my office, but you are in my heart and on my mind.
Kathryn Tipton, LPC is a founder of and therapist at Houston Center for Valued Living.