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Address: 4203 Montrose Blvd Suite 480, Houston, Texas, 77006, USA
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Is your child struggling with anxiety? Maybe you’ve noticed it’s getting worse overtime. First of all, don’t beat yourself up. Childhood anxiety is very common, and in some situations actually normal (and adaptive). In addition to seeking professional help, here are some easy to implement strategies to help.

1. Know the symptoms of anxiety in children

With children it can be difficult to recognize when anxiety or nervousness appears. This is because your child may not know how to label that emotion themselves. It’s possible for anxiety to show up as behaviors such as:

crying fits,
tantrums,
or refusal to do something.

It could also show up as physical complaints like:

headaches,
stomachaches,
other GI issues,
or trouble sleeping.

If you start to see a pattern to these physical complaints (i.e. a stomachache before tests) it could be a manifestation of your child’s anxiety. Once you are aware that what they are experiencing could be related to nervousness, you can help them connect the two. Thus, they are able to recognize it themselves in the future.

**If the physical complaints are chronic or severe, it is best to check with a medical doctor for evaluation.**

2. Lead by Example

We still have our fair share of anxieties as adults. However, we have learned to cope with our anxiety. To help children learn, it’s important to model this skill. Talk to your child about an upcoming work presentation, nervousness to fly on a plain, and your next dental appointment. Keep the conversation light while explaining how you cope and why you are doing the thing that scares you.

For example, on your way to drop of your kiddo at school talk with them about how you have a presentation at work today and the boss will be there. Discuss how you’ve worked really hard on it. Explain you are hopeful your boss thinks you did a great job so you’re a little nervous. Talk about how you plan to cope. Maybe by taking deep breaths before beginning, practicing with a coworker, reminding yourself that you’ve given other presentations that have gone well, etc.

At the end of the day tell your child how it went, that you were nervous and still the presentation. Lastly, say you are proud of yourself for doing it even though you were nervous! By showing your children how you manage your own fears it helps give them to tools to do the same.

Image of child wearing a love who you are shirt to illustrate the power of therapy for anxiety

3. Let your child know that some fear is healthy and normal

We all get anxious about a number of things in life, and that’s ok! Children often think that anxiety is something innately BAD. That they should avoid whatever is making them anxious at all costs. It’s important, again, to verbalize that being scared sometimes is normal. Anxiety can protect us. We want our children to be a little fearful of cars in the street so they look both ways before crossing, right? Having the butterflies before starting the new school year, trying out for the baseball team, or singing in the talent show is completely normal.

Most kids don’t know this until someone tells them. When you notice anxiety showing up, remind them that other kids in their class probably feel a little worried too about starting school the next day. Or remind them that they felt the same way last year, and yet they made new friends and loved their teacher! The same can happen this time.

4. Encourage your child to do the things that scare them

I’m important to not “save” your child from things they are scared of. I know it sounds against your basic parenting instincts. However, when we save our children from their worries it teaches them that they couldn’t have handled that situation. Talk them through and encourage them to do things that make them nervous. Things like how to ask to join in on a game a group of kids are playing, ask their teacher for extra help on an assignment, or going to a skills evaluation to see if they can make the team. Encouraging children to do what scares them ultimately empowers them, gives them an opportunity to grow and learn new skills, and the possibility to be a part of something fulfilling.

5. Let your child fail

Children often become anxious when they are worried they won’t be perfect (i.e. I must get an A on the test, land 1^st chair in band, be elected class president, etc.). They worry that being imperfect reflects negatively on them. To counter this, let them try and “fail.” Then tell them being imperfect is human and acceptable. Let them know that they are still loved, valued and important regardless of an outcome. Comfort your child when they experience a loss, whatever it is, and remind them that it doesn’t take away from their hard work. The “win” can be stepping outside of their comfort zone and all the things they learned along the way. Children who learn failing is ok are less afraid and more willing to try something new.

So instead of saying “Don’t be afraid, just do it.” Or “Oh that’s scary, you don’t have to go for it.” Try “It’s ok to be scared AND you can still do it.”

If you are concerned your child’s anxiety is interfering with school, making friends, sports, or causing them a lot of distress schedule an appointment with an HCFVL clinician today.

Photo of Nina Moak LPC, a therapist for kids and teenagers in Houston, TX 77006

Christina Moak, LPC has a passion for helping children, adolescents, and parents with a variety of concerns including behavioral issues, school performance, anxieties, social issues, depression, and life transitions.

Simple Strategies to Help Your Anxious Child

1. Know the symptoms of anxiety in children

2. Lead by Example

3. Let your child know that some fear is healthy and normal

4. Encourage your child to do the things that scare them

5. Let your child fail

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