Beyond the heart-shaped treats and sweet notes, one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is a deep, lasting love for themselves. Helping kids develop self-esteem and emotional resilience sets the foundation for healthier relationships, stronger coping skills, and a more positive sense of self as they grow.
At The Houston Center for Valued Living, we believe that fostering self-love in children starts at home. As a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) specializing in child behavior therapy, I work with parents to develop strategies that encourage emotional well-being. Here are some simple ways to help your child build confidence and self-worth:
1. Model Self-Kindness
Children learn by watching their parents. If they see you being hard on yourself, they’re more likely to adopt the same self-criticism. Show them what self-compassion looks like by speaking kindly about yourself, even when things don’t go as planned. For example, if you burn dinner, instead of saying, “I’m so bad at cooking,” you might say, “That didn’t go as planned, but I’ll try again tomorrow.” This models resilience and positive self-talk.
2. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Success
Praising hard work, creativity, and kindness—not just achievements—teaches kids that their value isn’t based on perfection. This helps build healthy self-esteem that lasts. When your child shows you a drawing they worked hard on, you can say, “I love how much effort you put into this!” rather than focusing on the result. Over time, this helps kids build a growth mindset, which has been linked to greater academic success and emotional well-being.
3. Teach Positive Self-Talk
Help your child recognize self-critical thoughts and replace them with supportive ones. Instead of “I’m terrible at this,” encourage, “I’m still learning, and that’s okay!” This small shift can make a big difference in reducing anxiety and boosting confidence. One fun way to practice is by creating a “kind words jar” where family members add positive affirmations or examples of self-kindness throughout the week.
4. Encourage Healthy Boundaries
Loving yourself also means knowing when to say “no.” Teach children that their feelings and needs matter by respecting their limits and helping them develop strong emotional boundaries. For younger children, you can role-play scenarios where they might need to say no to a friend or stand up for themselves. With older kids, encourage discussions about peer pressure and the importance of staying true to themselves.
5. Promote Emotional Intelligence
Self-love goes hand-in-hand with emotional intelligence (EQ). When kids can identify, understand, and express their emotions, they are better equipped to manage stress, build relationships, and develop a positive self-image. You can nurture EQ by regularly asking questions like, “How did that situation make you feel?” or “What do you think might help you feel better when you’re upset?” Reading books that explore emotions is another excellent way to help children build this crucial skill.
6. Foster a Sense of Belonging
Feeling connected to family, friends, and community helps children develop a strong sense of identity and self-worth. Make time for family traditions, whether it’s a Friday movie night or a weekend walk in the park. Encourage participation in group activities, like sports, clubs, or community service, where children can experience a sense of teamwork and contribution.
7. Remind Them They Are Loved—Always
A child who feels deeply loved is more likely to develop a strong sense of self-worth. Daily affirmations of love and acceptance help children feel secure, even when facing challenges. Simple, consistent messages like, “I love you exactly as you are,” or “I’m proud of you for being kind and trying your best,” go a long way toward building a foundation of self-love.
Why Self-Love Matters
Research shows that children with healthy self-esteem are more likely to:
- Cope effectively with stress and setbacks
- Develop positive, healthy relationships
- Resist peer pressure and make independent decisions
- Pursue their goals with confidence
When children feel good about themselves, they approach the world with curiosity and resilience—skills that serve them well into adulthood.
Need Support? We’re Here to Help
At The Houston Center for Valued Living, we help parents and children build emotional resilience, manage challenging behaviors, and strengthen family relationships. If you’d like to learn more about child therapy, parenting strategies, or behavioral interventions, we’re here to help.
We offer individual therapy for children & adolescents
- Children
- Parent Coaching for Child Behavior Issues
- Adolescent & Teen concerns
- Supporting Anxious Childhood Emotions (S.P.A.C.E. training for parents)
Want personalized support for your child’s emotional well-being? Schedule your free, 15-minute phone consultation with Nina Moak, MA, LPC, today.
Christina “Nina” Moak, MA, LPC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor at The Houston Center for Valued Living. Nina specializes in helping parents navigate work-life balance, parenting challenges, and evolving family dynamics. She is passionate about fostering strong parent-child relationships and supporting individuals through life’s transitions.