As parents around the nation gear up to start homeschooling to some degree we thought it might be helpful to discuss some strategies to make the transition a bit easier. This period of time is so unique and unprecedented. While children may not understand what is going on, they are aware that something big is happening and that alone is scary. Creating a schedule that closely resembles what they are used to is stabilizing, and stability equals safety to your child.
Maintain Bedtimes and Wake times
While your child (especially your teens) may be hoping for staying up late and sleeping in, this is not recommended (gasp!). Maintaining their regular bed and wake times helps to ensure they are getting an adequate amount of sleep (not too little or too much). This is important because proper sleep is tied to attention span and ability to retain information – super important for learning! There is a reason you maintain this schedule during the typical school year and we want to maintain it during this period as well. It also cuts out the adjustment period of having to return to this schedule once face-to-face learning is back in session.
Morning routine
It’s incredibly easy to let them stay in pajamas, watch just one episode of their favorite show before starting schoolwork, or lay in their beds a little longer. Unfortunately, all of these behaviors are associate with relaxing which makes it that much more difficult to transition to learning time. Just as the one above, keep it business as usual. Follow the same morning routine including getting dressed for the day! Our brains make associations, so at this point in the school year their brains have associated this routine with learning and attending school. Continuing to so even if school is at home primes them for the learning that is about to occur.
Study Space
Designate a schoolwork area in your house, somewhere with the fewest distractions. Ideal areas include the home office or dining room. During the first week work to gather all needed items for learning and keep them in the study space – things like textbooks, notebooks, laptop, calculator (not the one of their phone), pens, etc. This will eliminate your child starting a task, only to stop to get another needed item and increasing the likelihood of getting distracted along the way. Also like school, the study space should not include cell phones, listening to music, or having a TV show on in the background.
There is only one space to avoid completely for their study space… their bedroom! I know it sounds like the perfect place where they probably already have most of what they need for school and they can close their door and focus. But there is a reason adults who work from home have a home office and don’t work in their bedrooms. Research shows that working on schoolwork in the same room they sleep can lead to sleep difficulties and working less efficiently! Just as we discussed above how our brains make associations, we want the bedroom to be associated with sleep, relaxation, and an overall timeout from the stress of the world.
Technology
While technology is wonderful in so many ways, like allowing for the possibility of distance learning during this time, it is also fraught with so many distractions! Think for a second how many times you’ve intended to look something up quickly only to fall into a YouTube hole. You aren’t even sure how much time has passed and can’t remember what you even looked up to begin with. The same can and likely will happen with your children while they are trying to complete school work. To reduce the urge, consider limiting access to laptops and tablets when possible. For example, while working on math have your child write out or print the problems and solve with pencil and paper while the technology is put away. Parental controls can also be helpful in reducing distractions by blocking access to certain apps or websites during school hours.
Break times
Similar to how a marathon runner trains and builds endurance, your child has worked throughout the year to increase their ability to focus on a task/subject for a certain length of time appropriate to their grade level. Its import to understand their daily school schedule (traditional or block scheduling, length of break time between classes, lunchtime, etc.) and structure their day accordingly as best as you can. If face-to-face school does resume this year it is important they are still able to maintain their attention for the duration of each period or their learning (and likely their behavior) will suffer.
While they may not be able to have recess, art class, or athletics you can build some physical activity or creativity into their school day. While the weather is nice, let them get outside and play, ride bikes, climb trees, etc. – while maintaining social distancing of course. Just as it’s important to keep schoolwork time on schedule, do the same for these breaks. These breaks are important to help cement their learning and allow them to refocus on the next task.
Note, break times are not for TV watching and ideally not a time to check SnapChat or Twitter either. However, since your child is used to interacting with peers while at school consider letting them text or call a friend during their lunch break. Afterwards, put the phone away again for the duration of the school day.
Expect Some Pushback….at first
Let’s just say it, your child is likely not going to be too thrilled about the plan above. At best, they are hoping this is an early summer and at worst they are hoping they don’t truly have to work on school for their usual amount of time. Plus their world, like ours, was essentially turned upside down. The way children (young ones and teens) often react to these big changes is by acting out. It will be helpful to adopt the expectation that this will happen. When it does, it does not mean you have to give in to your child’s pleading. Think of completing school at home like getting a shot at the doctor. Of course you don’t want your child experiencing the pain and discomfort, but you follow through (even when they cry, beg, plead, and try to run out the door) because you know the vaccine is in their best interest. Have them follow a structured school day at your home for the same reason. This will serve them best in the long run. As long as the schedule stays consistent, this will become the new normal and you should notice a decrease in acting out.
BONUS
While this time seems overwhelming let’s take a moment and notice the upsides. First, once the school day is done there is no homework, no assignment that keeps them up late, or group project everyone has to meet up for to work on. They are free at the end of the school day!! They can enjoy a craft or run around outside. They can connect with friend virtually. They can learn a new TikTok dance. You can teach them a family recipe, or plan with your older children who work to learn how to file income taxes. Stream Disney+. Enjoy the moments your children are being sweet to each other even if it’s just for a few minutes before they return to arguing.
Though this time is difficult for so many very valid reasons, this will pass. While we might not have an end date, or know what normal will look like after this, we also know this is not permanent. This will pass and life will resume, and this time with your family will be a memory. As much as you can, soak up every moment with your family – the fun and the very much not fun.
Nina Moak, LPC-Intern has a passion for helping children and adolescents with a variety of concerns including behavioral issues, school performance, anxieties, social issues, depression, and common issues that accompany adolescence. Nina is a licensed professional counselor intern under the supervision of Carly Malcolm-Hoang LPC-S.
As a Houston based counseling clinic, our caring therapists also offer therapy for
- anxiety disorders and anxiety treatment
- depression treatment
- obsessive compulsive disorder
- maternal mental health
- counseling for children
- therapy for teens
- insomnia
We also offer tips for improving your overall mental health on our blog.
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